A relationship expert shares the top 6 questions you should ask on a first date – and what you should never ask
Having a first date can be scary for everyone involved at the best of times, but after a year full of deadlocks you can be a little rustier on your dating conversation than usual.
Relationship expert Frances Kelleher gave her best advice on what to ask on a first date and, more importantly, what not to do.
She said, “So the first thing I would say is, you know, no personal questions anyway and don’t conduct it like an interview. Nobody wants that.
“I get a lot of feedback like ‘oh man he was so intense he asked me all about past relationships and stuff’ don’t do that.
“The main thing in first dates is to have fun, get to know the person better and see if there is a connection.”
If you’re nervous about running out of things to say on your date, Frances shared a few questions that are sure to get them talking.
1. What is the best thing that has happened to you?
This question is sure to get your date discussed and bring him back to a happy time in his life.
Frances said: “It’s not, you know, a very personal question. You keep it positive.
“Don’t ask negative questions, you know, about dating experiences or anything.
“If you ask the question ‘what is the best thing that has ever happened to you?’ first of all, they immediately start to feel good because they think about the best thing that has happened to them and people want to spend time with people who make them feel good, that’s the main thing.
“So once they start to feel good, they project that feeling onto you, and they think, you know I feel good who I want to hang out with her a little bit more.
She added: “The other thing I would say is if people don’t it’s both male and female, if someone isn’t emotional for you, they won’t. will not want to date you long term.
“That’s the secret, is to make someone emotional for you, and that’s how you create a relationship, you know, that’s how someone falls for you.”
2. What makes you happy?
Again, this question is designed to keep the conversation positive and create an upbeat tone.
Frances said, “Again the person feels good and they project that feeling onto you.
“You create an emotional feeling for them that is connected with you by asking this question. “
She added, “None of these questions are offensive, and you are still getting to know the person.”
3. If you won the lottery, what would you do?
Frances suggested that a fun way to find out more about a person is to ask them what they would do if they made millions.
She said, “It tells you about the person, like their aspirations, their dreams, you know, and their goals.
“You check to see if this person is going to improve your life. Do you have the same goals, do you have common ground, you know, so that also shows you their goals and you can see their goals, you know because shared values and goals are what keeps a relationship together long-term.
4. What are your favorite activities?
It’s a great way to see if you and your date are compatible.
Frances said: “You can see you have common ground so if somebody says, you know I like being in the pub every night from 4pm to 1am and you are the opposite, you like the hiking and the outdoors and you like activity then you can see well, you know i dont know if this person is going to be suitable for me because we are completely opposed in what we want to do in our free time.
5. What would you like to learn?
This question allows you to identify if your date is ambitious and their future goals.
Frances said: “It shows that you have a genuine interest in the person.
“It’s what people want when they date. They want the person to make them feel special. They want that person to really care about them and, you know, they want to feel like they’re really being seen.
“So that’s a great question to find out more about a person and, like I say, to show that you’re really interested in what they like and what they don’t like and what their plans are.” . “
6. What is your favorite childhood memory?
Frances recommends this question to dig a little deeper into the world of your date.
She said, “Now that’s a deeper question because you know it’s precious in everyone’s mind and you have fond memories of it, and you’re asking that question, you know, in showing interest in them again.
“You ask that creates a connection, and their response creates a connection because they share a bit of their story with you. They lead you into their world a bit, and that creates an emotional connection and an emotional connection.
The relationship expert stressed the importance of not delving into past relationships, especially not on a first date.
She said, “Again, none of these questions are based on relationships you have had.
“What people hate the most … is’ how long have you been single? I mean none of them.
“None of those kinds of questions on a first date. It’s all about positivity, fun and getting to know the person.