Avoid these dating app cliches in order to actually get a match

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Photo: Boryana Manzurova (Shutterstock)

Although dating apps have become a staple of modern life over the past decade, they’ve always been a little tricky to use. Some people treat apps like a game, racking up first dates and quick hookups, while others pursue the pursuit of love and connection. It’s hard to know what the person on the other side of that “It’s a game!” the screen wants and if it matches what you are looking for, so most people have developed conscious and unconscious screening techniques to weed out potential mates faster.

One of the easiest ways to instantly identify someone you need to swipe left on is to notice a dating app snap in their bio. Someone who has a reference to Office or simply noted that he seeks “adventure” is an easy pass most of the time. If you don’t want to be benched before you’ve even entered the game, here’s how to avoid using snaps in your profile.

Take the time to create your dating profile

If you really want to use your profile to secure a companion – or at least a connection with whom you have something in common – you have to put in a little effort. Complete all prompts, eg.

Bumble shared data with Lifehacker that showed that in February this year, those who “make the most of their profile” can likely see a 30% increase in matches. A rep for the app said: “It takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there when you start your dating journey, and it’s often more comfortable to stick to popular references that a lot of people can relate to – moreover, people want to connect with others who share common ground with them. But at Bumble, we recommend giving specific examples or stories that show your matches what sets you apart. Your profile bio Bumble is your opportunity to show off your personality and help your potential partner get to know you a bit.

Ask a question in your profile that a possible match might answer, or state upfront what kind of cooking you like to do. Make the effort to share details about yourself instead of rushing to an old game game of thrones the quote will allow you to stand out.

“We don’t blame you if you’re a pop culture and movie buff — in fact, according to those who adopted Bumble’s interest badges in 2021, one of the top interest categories in the world. was ‘Film and TV,'” the rep added. “However, rather than referencing a mainstream TV show or movie, there’s something special about referencing an independent film and corresponding with someone who gets it as well.”

Laurel House, relationship expert at eharmony, added: “Years ago, profiles were meant to please. They were fun, seductive and flat. They lacked depth, truth, authenticity and vulnerability. Today, people are looking for the real. In order to attract real people, you first need to present yourself as real people, and that starts in your profile. Daters now spend time and effort on their profile so that it gives insight into who the person behind the words is. In the very short description, daters put more effort into illuminating who they really are – their tastes, their lifestyles, their life aspirations.

Detail your features

Melissa Hobely, dating coach and marketing director of OkCupid, said that while dating profiles have gotten easier in recent years, there’s one thing that hasn’t changed: the clichés are still there.

“Please to try to avoid clichéd dating profile lines. I completely understand why this is happening – filling out your dating profile is hard. Trust me, no one knows what to say,” she said, “but after seeing thousands of profiles on OkCupid, I can tell you that snaps suck.” She said if you use one , you’re less likely to land a forehand or the like because snaps are boring, don’t tell anyone anything about you, and are predictable. They even suggest you’re lazy. Dating has definitely been modernized in the era of apps, but one constant that has endured for centuries is that any potential partner wants to feel like you’ll put in the effort to woo them, and if you’re using a tired old line, you’re not exactly signaling that you’ll dazzle them with your first date, let alone continue the effort once you get together.

She suggested that instead of noting that you’re “laid back,” you could develop that attribute a bit. She said she recently saw a profile that read: “I had a very stressful job on Wall Street, I realized it didn’t make me happy and now I work full time for a non-profit organization that works to the abolition of the death penalty”. .” Of course, you could argue that fighting to keep incarcerated people alive is more stressful than working in finance, but that’s the problem: you could Argue this. Like, in direct messages. “I’m laid back” gives nothing to answer for a potential match. A detailed description of how laid back you are, however, does.

If your profile says you’re “laid-back, easy-going and fun-loving,” she said, it won’t generate much interest. In the wise words of Hobely, “OK, no shit. Who is not ?

She said that if you’re having trouble finding details about yourself, resort to a list format, which “got a bit popular on OkCupid,” but the reason for that is “it works.”

“When you list places, shows, books, music, etc., you specify the things you like,” she said. “You’re also giving other people the chance to ask about it – maybe you both like that obscure Swedish band, the Sounds.”

Stop using these cliches now

If your profile says you’re looking for the Pam for your Jim, open your app now. Delete that. Get rid of it. Stop that. If it says, “I’m new here,” remove it. Do you “like to laugh?” Join the club, baby and delete this. If your profile says you’re looking for an “adventure” or a “partner in crime,” you better clarify what that means. A trip to a fancy restaurant you saw on TikTok is not an “adventure”. Your photo shows you in a Patagonia vest layered over a button down shirt and says you work in finance. We all know that “adventure” here means, like, drinking a day on a Sunday. Enough. Just say you like ordering a beer bucket to end the weekend. And stop listing your height and following it with “because it matters, apparently”. Why do you seem so defensive? Your attitude gives off crazier vibes than your height ever could.

“Yes, please RIP to ‘looking for a girl for a fling,'” Hobely said. “Is this code for ‘hookup?’ Just say that. I would love to retire, “work hard, play hard” and “no assholes”.

“If you have to say that, it’s a bad start.”

If House had it up to him, “looking for my partner in crime” would also be taken out. “What does that mean? Looking for a partner to do life with? Looking for a partner to have fun with? I have many clients who immediately delete people if their profile says they are looking for a partner in crime. It’s time to be more specific because the reality is that a partner has a different meaning for everyone.

She’s also not a fan of “looking for my other half,” which she says is “another immediate outing.”

“Although I appreciate the sentiment – ​​that you are looking for your ‘person’ by calling it your ‘other half’ – but are you saying that you are not whole?” she asked. “Are you communicating that without a partner, you are an incomplete person? Clarity is key, more than ever in our time. »

It’s true: eharmony recently released the results of its fifth annual Happiness Index survey for the year, finding that 51% of single people prioritize spending time alone post-lockdown, 55% prioritize to personal care and 30% prioritize saying “no” to social invitations. If you want to appeal to a group of newly independent singles, you need to give them a reason to swipe right at you.

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