eHarmony Review – Forbes Health

“Based on customer feedback, eHarmony is one of the best dating sites, especially for people interested in a long-term, committed relationship,” says Carla Manly, Ph.D., a psychologist in Santa Rosa, Calif. and author. of smart date. Dr. Manly is a fan of eHarmony’s compatibility quiz, which is based on the principle that the more compatible you are with a match, the more likely you are to have a good relationship. “Compatibility is a strong premise for successful dating. Research shows that opposites can attract, but they don’t hold,” Manly says.

When dating, Dr. Manly recommends looking for someone with common interests and goals, but most importantly common values, such as family, religion, or work. “You might have a lot in common, like you both love tennis, but if you have a core values ​​mismatch, like you value family, but he values ​​work over family, it can create a lot. conflict,” she said. said.

Yet online dating through eHarmony or any other online dating site can amplify the tendency to take a consumerist approach to relationships. “Online dating can frustrate us in intimacy as we become hyper-obsessed with meeting our own needs rather than connecting authentically with each other,” says therapy-trained relationship expert Chanel Dokun. marriage and family and author of life begins now. With so many options to choose from, you tend to want to keep looking for someone potentially even better. “We’re constantly measuring and asking ourselves, ‘Does this person tick all the boxes?’ No one completely ticks all of our boxes,” says Dokun.

Still, “online dating platforms like eHarmony can be beneficial by giving us access to more potential partners than we could find locally, and they make it easier to connect with like-minded people than we might otherwise have. never be considered through other means of dating,” Dokun says. For online dating success, she recommends allowing your eHarmony-enabled matches to be themselves, their flaws and all, and to come in with an open mind when you spend time online with them, then, eventually , in person.

This strategy worked for Dokun. In December 2009, she signed up for eHarmony and met her husband. “He was one of the first guys I ever matched with,” she says. “We had a lot in common,” she says. The couple got engaged after five months and married two years later. 10 years and two children later, they are doing well. “He felt like family from day one. He was exactly who I had seen online.

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