How to make a long distance relationship work

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Before the pandemic, many people around the world were in a long-distance relationship by choice or circumstance.

A desire for a greater or more defined separation between everyday life and love, work and family commitments, or simply falling in love with someone in another city are just a few of the reasons why many people find themselves in love at a distance. case.

But the global halt to travel during the pandemic has meant that many people who may not have originally signed up for long distance have been forced into this situation over the past 18 months and may be at taken with the change, as well as the unknown date that they can be reunited.

While advancements in technology mean that we are able to stay in near constant contact with loved ones who are geographically distant, that does not eliminate all of the challenges and work involved in maintaining a long distance relationship.

While every relationship has its ups and downs, it is even more important that the lines of communication and trust remain open for people who are separated.

The independent talked to dating experts to learn how to make a long distance relationship work and grow.

Communicate

Communicating with your partner is essential in any relationship, but especially in a relationship where you are not physically together and may even live in different time zones.

According to experts, the frequency of communication is actually less important than the quality and depth.

Eharmony relationship expert Rachael Lloyd said: “For a long distance relationship to work, intelligent communication is essential.

“For example, it might be useful to decide if a meaningful conversation before bed is worth more than a flow of random text messages throughout the day.”

Neil Wilkie, relationship expert and author of The relationship paradigm agrees, “Create a moment where you can really express your feelings and emotions to each other.

“Avoid going through a nighttime routine on Facetime” – it might end up feeling like a chore – “instead, speak less often but more deeply”.

Connect

Being apart can make it harder to connect on a physical level, but emotionally taking time is essential. Experts suggest that it’s good to keep learning more about your partner to build strong bonding and familiarity.

This can be achieved by intentionally discussing a range of interesting and important topics that tell you a lot about a person.

Dr Clair Burley, registered clinical psychologist at the Birchwood Center for Relationship Therapy, said: “Explore topics such as life events, friends and family, hobbies, current stress, goals and aspirations of life, values, fears, embarrassing moments, dream destinations, favorite movies and music, etc.

Burley also suggests that knowing each other’s love tongues can help build strong bonds.

The language of love refers to the way people like to give and receive love. The five languages ​​are: words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, gifts, touch.

Knowing what your partner needs to feel loved can help maintain a strong and healthy long-distance relationship.

Burley said, “If your partner’s love language is touching him, you can arrange a massage for him or buy him a weighted blanket.”

Despite the distance, sexual intimacy is not completely irrelevant. Through technology, there are ways to achieve mutual pleasure from a distance.

Wilkie said: “Simultaneous and shared self-pleasure can be an erotic way to connect.”

Demonstrate commitment

Like all partnerships, long distance couples must demonstrate their commitment to the relationship.

With less face-to-face interactions, it can be easy for things to go wrong or for your partner to feel less of a priority over the things that go on in your daily life.

To prevent this from happening, experts suggest showing commitment when planning for the future.

Setting certain milestones or goals and discussing what it will be like when you reach them can make long-distance partners feel like they’re on a common path.

Matchmaking expert Hayley Quinn said: “Remember to keep thinking about that light at the end of the tunnel – we all need something to dream about and hope for.

“So plan some dates for the future and have a goal you both work towards, whether it’s a vacation, a house, or a plane ticket to see each other. “

Enjoy

Above all, don’t forget to have fun. The whole point of a relationship is to enrich your life, and a long distance relationship shouldn’t be any different.

Normal couple experiences like movie nights and dining together can be achieved virtually.

Watch a box set or movie together virtually, or order the same takeaway and enjoy it on Zoom with a glass of the same wine.


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