No Blacks, No Asians, No Indians: Sexual Racism on the New Zealand Dating Scene – and How Apps Make It Worsen

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What is the solution ?

So, with fetishization, ethnic filters, and racist stereotypes at play, how is society improving and getting rid of sexual racism for good?

Tan says the key to challenging racist behavior is to be “really honest with yourself.”

“People have to ask ‘why do I see this person as less attractive than a white person that I actually feel that way on the inside? Or is it just my racism and all the racism in my environment that shaped me? “

“And then you have to have these honest conversations with other people. You have to get people to ask their friends of color, ‘Hey, are you going through the struggle? Would you be ready to talk about it? And maybe I’ve already done something to make you feel a certain way? ‘

“So having these honest conversations with yourself, with your friends, then going online, researching resources, and exploring the whole idea of ​​what it’s like for people of color in the dating scene.”

Dr Mayeda says there are already signs New Zealand is improving.

“Especially as a result of Black Lives Matter, people from different racial, ethnic and class backgrounds have more difficult conversations about race and racism. I think that’s a good thing. We’re more open to talking about it. a lot…

“In the wake of the #MeToo movement, more and more men are talking about sexism. It’s a good thing because we can confront our own kind of problematic patterns – and it’s the same with that.”

He says the next issue to tackle in the fight against sexual racism is the beauty standards championed by the media.

“If you look at billboards and magazine covers and who the stars of film and television are, they’re dominated by these kinds of Eurocentric notions of beauty,” he said.

“As long as there are these racialized representations of people of color, then when you have people growing up who are not exposed by their friends, schools and families to ethnically diverse, they rely on the media for what. is normal.

“Until that changes, we’re going to continue to see this kind of interpersonal discrimination that is based on racist and sexist stereotypes.”

Jared says it’s a “tough question with a simple answer.” But he urges people to check their thinking.

“Give us a chance – don’t judge a book by its cover.”

* Jared is a pseudonym.


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