Randi Zuckerberg: Julia Spira traces the link between a good date and finding a good job | Homes and Lifestyle


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Julie Spira’s advice for anxious online dating? “I encourage singles to fill out their date cards and see each person as an expansion of your social network,” she says. (photo from cyberdatingexpert.com)

While a lot of people can poo the idea of ​​dating as a full-time job, it’s definitely a full-time job for those who help singles find love. Now that online dating has replaced cute dating, love, like any other growing industry, needs its experts.

This is why I support Julie Spira and the work of this woman.

Spira is an internationally renowned online dating expert, relationship coach and bestselling author. Spira has always been at the forefront of technology, and as the first user of online dating, she has been coaching singles for over two decades to find love in the digital age.

Randi Zuckerberg: Has online dating become the new normal for meeting potential partners?

Julie Spira: Online dating continues to gain popularity around the world. Nowadays, celebrities and the girl next door have online dating profiles. The most recent internet survey from the Pew Research Center showed huge growth for millennials and their grandparents, with dating sites and mobile apps almost tripling in use by young adults in the past three years.

The 55-64 new singles have also embraced online dating, with usage having doubled in the past two years. So it is safe to say that you must have an online dating strategy and profile if you are single.

RZ: What are the people doing that most prevent them from staying single?

JS: It’s important to note that not everyone has the same dating goals. Some enjoy the thrill of sliding right around and dating multiple people, while others rush into a relationship before they even know the person. Either way, it could cause people to stay single.

I also think it really stems from the “shopping cart” mentality that some people fear, where it’s hard to commit to a date when another new face might appear in their inbox.

Sometimes it helps to make a list of what someone is specifically looking for in a relationship. Other times, if the list is too long, singles will have unrealistic expectations of the perfect person.

RZ: What’s the # 1 complaint you hear from your customers?

JS: My online dating coaching clients complain that everyone’s profile is the same or that there are too many serial daters. It’s my job to remind them that it only takes one and that online dating is a numbers game. You can find your 1 in 50 million online if you stay focused on your relationship goals.

I equate finding your dream date the same way finding your dream job. If you have three bad job interviews, you don’t stop the process. You stay diligent in finding your perfect job. The same goes with dating.

Singles can go through a series of unique dates, but if they get frustrated and give up, the next person just might be the right one. So I encourage singles to fill out their date cards and see each person as an expansion of your social network. You might make a new friend, find a new professional contact, or yes, you might get lucky and fall in love, so cast a wide net.

RZ: Does swiping left or right create a culture of constant rejection? What about a model based solely on aesthetics? Does sex sell by landing a date?

JS: Swiping left and right is the culture we live in right now. Rejection is an integral part of dating, whether it’s online or offline. Singles jump to a number conclusion and swipe left before knowing if they have physical or physical chemistry.

I come back to the equation of the numbers game. Men and women are visual and have a physical type that appeals to them, and the only way to be successful in dating is to meet IRL and get to know someone offline, if they have met online.

Being sexy is very personal, and there is no one profile for everyone. Having great online dating profile pictures is essential to show your life in a variety of scenarios so that someone can see how you would fit in their life, and vice versa. So look your best.

Ladies, wear red in your profile photos because red is the color of love, romance, and even a powerful color in the boardroom. Show off some of your favorite activities and a full body photo. I say the sexiest photo is the one where someone shows they are confident. Confidence on the neckline!

RZ: As a dating coach, is your own love life constantly under scrutiny?

JS: My love life was scrutinized on the day of my first book, The dangers of cyber dating: Confessions of a hopeful romantic looking for love online, was released in 2009. It was a memoir about my online dating journey that began in the mid-1990s.

When I was single, I tended to ration my news flow and not talk about the book on a first date or two. But the questions of “Are you single? And “Has online dating been successful for you?” Always comes up in conversations.

Lucky for me, the former sweetheart of my life read my book, thinking he might need dating advice after his divorce. After reading about himself and our romantic trip, he reached out to me on Facebook, and we reconnected after 16 years of separation and picked up where we left off. It’s a heartfelt story with a digital twist.

– Randi Zuckerberg is the Founder and CEO of Zuckerberg Media, a bestselling author and host of a weekly show on technology companies SiriusXM, Randi Zuckerberg means business. Follow her on Twitter: @randizuckerberg or connect with her on Facebook. Click here for previous columns. The opinions expressed are his own.

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