When having a conversation with a potential romantic partner, most of us pay attention to one thing: what the other person is saying. However, dating coaches say there’s a lot to learn from your partner’s body language, too. For example, everything from their eye movements to the way they cross their legs to how close they are to you can shed light on their level of attraction. Another thing to consider is their hands. Here, a dating coach describes the secret meanings of major hand movements. You’ll know so much more about your date just by watching them.
READ NEXT: 5 body language signs that mean someone is lying, according to therapists and lawyers.
1
hands bells
No matter what setting you see this hand movement in, you’ll want to take note. “When you’re talking to someone and they’re shaking hands, chances are they’re feeling very powerful and superior at that moment,” says the dating coach Jason Lucas in a TikTok video.
The gesture is defined by holding the hands in front of the body – usually in front of the chest but sometimes near the stomach – and touching the fingertips together to create a church steeple shape. Expect to see it in the office, at networking lunches, and maybe even when you’re meeting a significant other’s parents or attending other high-stakes social events. On a first date, it could mean that the person you’re seeing thinks they’re in a rush for the second date.
2
The aerial terminal
According to Lucas, when someone raises their index finger and moves it slightly back and forth, it means they don’t want you to talk, only to listen. The movement subtly conveys that they have a thought that they are trying to get out and that they need patience from their interlocutor.
If you are the recipient of this hand motion, especially on a date, listen up. They might be about to share crucial information about themselves. You will also show them that you are a courteous interlocutor.
READ NEXT: Doing this with your hands keeps people from trusting you, experts say.
3
The O
This is another hand gesture you may see from someone trying to collect their thoughts better. “When someone speaks and they make a little O with their fingers, it means that whatever they speak, they manage it delicately in their mind,” explains Lucas.
You’ll see it when people navigate sticky situations at work, disagreements with friends, and other times when they want to make sure they’re saying precisely the right thing. On a date, it could mean someone is trying to reveal important information as clearly as possible.
4
hidden thumbs
Want to be able to understand when someone isn’t feeling their best? Here’s an easy-to-search hand move. “When someone is talking and they hide their thumb in the conversation, chances are they’re feeling very insecure at the time,” says Lucas.
This protective position can be adopted by sitting with hands on a table or by standing with loose fists in front of them. If you like your date, try complimenting them to boost their confidence.
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5
open palms
This hand movement trick will help you navigate countless interactions, especially when dating. “Someone who shows you their palms is more likely to tell you the truth,” says Lucus.
Another thing to look at to determine whether a person is lying or not is whether they are gesturing with one hand or two. A 2015 study by the Association for Computing Machinery found that 40% of people who lied made two-handed movements, compared to only 25% of people who told the truth.
Moral of the story? Talking with your hands is more than just a habit. This can reveal key things about your thoughts and motivations and those of your interviewer.
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